Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I know it's been a long time since I've updates this, but I don't have any other medium of posting my engagement photos for everyone! Channing was supposed to look into getting up a password protected album somewhere, but for now, here are some of my favorites!There are some more of us, plus some other couples our photographers have done on http://whitley-goodman.blogspot.com/

Saturday, March 12, 2005

cant fight this feeling

ahh! im so fucking excited! ive heardly stopped looking since thursday... which is a good thing and i bad thing i suppose. bad, because its not like its going to realistically matter until may or so.. but good because this way i will not miss anything, and ill have a better of idea of what the fuck it is that i am doing when may/june/july/comes along and i actually have to buy the place.

the only frustrating part is not that we want different things, because we really dont, except for location preferance, but whats most important to each of us is different. i want to walk to school and he wants heated parking. there is no place we can afford with heated parking near the u of a. none. well.. depends on what my definition of "walking distance" is i suppose.

.. i really need to do some studying

Friday, February 04, 2005

and you will believe in love and all its supposed to be

sometimes i find it hard to believe that this has ever happened to anyone else, ever, anywhere. i love you that much.

Monday, January 24, 2005

disappointment gets to me so easily

i tell myself that nothings wrong, but nothings like it used to be.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

last time I saw you, you were in a rage

i know i dont handle disappointment very well, well, depending on what it is and how im feeling to begin with. if im fine and i go to superstore and they dont have any cheesecake which means i have to go to safeway, its all good. but sometimes it feels like i wait all day for the last 30minutes of it before i go to be (its all i get now, really), not feeling all that splendid (my jaw is really bothering me, im tired, kinda frustrated, forgot to call my aunt. shit) and it just really sucks. and its not that big of a deal really. i know it doesnt mean anything. but maybe that why it bothers me. because it means nothing. its everything to me, and yet its so easily given up. and now im crying over it.. i put way too much thought into stuff like this. i think about it too much and i look forward to it, and i think about how good it will be (its all there is right now), and i put everything im doing on hold to do it, and i wait and i check and i wait some more and then get excited when I think its happening... but no. its nothing to everyone else so why would they bother.

would you be disappointed, or am i just being crazy?

no. dont bother answering that. i know im crazy. i know because now that theres nothing i get all urges to do things to make it better for myself. i just about sent an angry email about nothing, but im not even angry. i wish i was. i wish there was something to be angry about. sometimes i like to be angry. well i dont like the angry as much as the after angry. when it all been released and it feels better. i dont have an outlet for that anymore. i miss rugby. im giving myself a headache. i notice when i get upset, i stop breathing for a bit. like holding my breathe slightly. and then i get a headache.

sometimes i think i release too much. how much does any given person need to know about me? thats why i used to like this blog. i could say whatever the hell i wanted and no one was reading it. i could just say it and then my thoughts are out there. i dont think anyone reads this anymore so i dont feel so bad to purging in here. ill keep "writing in code" should someone happen upon this. then it might make sense to those that it should make sense too. if it doesnt, then its probably not you i wish i was saying this too without feeling like im telling you something that doesnt need to be said. maybe by the time you see this it will be months later and i will have completely forgotten whatever it was that i was upset about. probably. its pretty trivial. and i tell you enough trivial things. so this is probably better left in code.

and for the record, i didnt do anything to retaliate (well, i did, but i undid it just as fast as i did it). i want to though. maybe you didnt know thats how i think sometimes. ive alluded to it before. maybe i will yet well see how this feels tomorrow. or maybe even thursday. hell if i know anymore.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

go.. and beat your crazy head against the sky

The greatest treasure hunt ever is officially over: I bought myself an N64 today [!!!] $30 at a pawn shop on 118th [*complete* with mario kart].

Gary, Vanessa: I know youre quivering in your boots [or slippers, respectively]. Or not.. but be warned! Come September, do not expect me to suck as much ass as I once did [!!!]. Muahaha.

[That enough context for you, or should I elaborate?]

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Id love to stay here and be normal but

Dad, this is post is just for you.